While having dinner the other night with some of the most esteemed people you could possibly imagine (who shall be known by their initials only: MA, TF, SO, HK), me and my dear companion decided to take an informal poll. The question put forth was, "Hey, so what's the greatest thing you can think of?" The answers were revealing.
MA: I would have to say contests.
TF: Contests.
SO: I was going to say snowmobiles but now I'm changing my answer to contests.
HK: Definitely contests.
And then, like a lightning bolt with an idea inside it, we had this amazing idea. Actually, my dear companion had the idea. But I'm going to tell it to you: National Eye needs to have a contest.
We were inspired by our friends The Spinto Band who are now running this contest where if you can make a mask featuring the face of famous Spinto mascot Roy Spinto, you will win your very own free iPod. My idea was "Ok, let's do that." But then it was pointed out to me that 1.) Roy Spinto has nothing but nothing to do with National Eye and 2.) we don't have any iPods to give away. I could ask to borrow Will's and then never give it back, but he's been a good friend all these years and also owes the government upwards of $40,000 and you can't kick a guy when he's down.
So then my dear companion said "I think I have a walkman" and then at that moment it was like a tidal wave swept over me and contained within all the water was this idea which I didn't actually have but my dear companion did and this is what it was: instead of an iPod we'll use a Walkman.
Which was great but didn't solve the Roy Spinto issue AT ALL. So then our cat came in the room and started doing his usual cat thing. And then, right at that moment, it was like a grand piano fell from the sky and right onto my head and on the piano where the music usually goes was a piece of paper with this great idea on it. Because that was when my dear companion said, "Instead of that Roy person, it could be our cat Harpo."
Which brings us to this contest we're having! Basically what you do is make up a mask or a robot or whatever (actually, don't make a robot -- that would be terrifying) based on the appearance of our amazing cat. We will choose the one that is better than all of the others and then a Walkman portable cassette player will be ALL YOURS. If yours is the one we pick.
Harpo is actually a very private cat and would rather not have his photograph all over the internet but I can describe him for you. He is 12.5 lbs., has whiskers, stripes, orange nose, a tail, and has exterminated THREE RATS in the past few months alone. That should be enough to get you started. If you have any questions, feel free to email me.
When you have completed your Harpo Mask or whatever (again, no robots), take a picture of yourself with it, holding up a copy of that day's newspaper, and a hand-painted sign that says "We Love the National Eye Cat Face Walkman Contest '08!." We encourage you to provide a pleasant backdrop for the photo as well (waterfall, Big Ben, etc.), so it's not too boring.
DO NOT email this photo to nationaleyecatcontest@gmail.com as that account has been hacked. Email it to feedback [AT] nationaleye.com.
Please note that we're not really sure where the Walkman is or if it works. You may be required to come over and look for it -- but look at it this way: a few hours out of your life is a small price to pay for the gift of music anywhere you go.
But it's not really about the Walkman, is it? No! It's about the excitement of contest participation! So get to it, people!
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