So then my dear companion said "I think I have a walkman" and then at that moment it was like a tidal wave swept over me and contained within all the water was this idea which I didn't actually have but my dear companion did and this is what it was: instead of an iPod we'll use a Walkman.
Which was great but didn't solve the Roy Spinto issue AT ALL. So then our cat came in the room and started doing his usual cat thing. And then, right at that moment, it was like a grand piano fell from the sky and right onto my head and on the piano where the music usually goes was a piece of paper with this great idea on it. Because that was when my dear companion said, "Instead of that Roy person, it could be our cat Harpo."
Which brings us to this contest we're having! Basically what you do is make up a mask or a robot or whatever (actually, don't make a robot -- that would be terrifying) based on the appearance of our amazing cat. We will choose the one that is better than all of the others and then a Walkman portable cassette player will be ALL YOURS. If yours is the one we pick.
Harpo is actually a very private cat and would rather not have his photograph all over the internet but I can describe him for you. He is 12.5 lbs., has whiskers, stripes, orange nose, a tail, and has exterminated THREE RATS in the past few months alone. That should be enough to get you started. If you have any questions, feel free to email me.
When you have completed your Harpo Mask or whatever (again, no robots), take a picture of yourself with it, holding up a copy of that day's newspaper, and a hand-painted sign that says "We Love the National Eye Cat Face Walkman Contest '08!." We encourage you to provide a pleasant backdrop for the photo as well (waterfall, Big Ben, etc.), so it's not too boring.
DO NOT email this photo to email@example.com as that account has been hacked. Email it to feedback [AT] nationaleye.com.
Please note that we're not really sure where the Walkman is or if it works. You may be required to come over and look for it -- but look at it this way: a few hours out of your life is a small price to pay for the gift of music anywhere you go.
But it's not really about the Walkman, is it? No! It's about the excitement of contest participation! So get to it, people!